Humourous Golf Quotes


Anonymous -
"Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well".

"Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed".

"In golf as in life, it's the follow through that makes the difference".

"Golf is an easy game... it's just hard to play".

"Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt".

Winston Churchill -
"Golf is a game who's aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose".

Bob Hope -
"Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens".

"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf".

Jack Nicklaus -
"Golf is not and has never has been a fair game".

"The older you get the stronger the wind gets..."

"I think I fail just a bit less than everyone else".

Gary Player -
"The harder you work, the luckier you get".

Lee Trevino -
"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one iron".

"I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list".

"Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money".

"No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine".

"You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket".

"I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible".

"It's the most fun I've ever had with my clothes on".

"I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would have come up sliced".

"If my IQ had been two lower I'd have been a plant somewhere".

"I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it".

Tom Watson -
A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do so".

Ben Hogan -
"This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win".

"Hit the ball up to the hole... You meet a better class of people up there".

"The most important shot in golf is the next one".

Fred Couples -
"When I'm playing well, I don't even take aim".